Q: Where does Michael Jackson write his songs for the kids?

A: In his tanning salon.

Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?

A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.

Q: What do any of the Mets have in common with Michael Jackson?

A: They all wear one glove for no apparent reason.

Q: Where is Michael Jackson's other glove?

A: In Brooke Shields' pants.

Q: What would you call Michael Jackson if he slept with another 20 or 30 young boys?

A: Monsigneur.

Q: How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?

A: Hire a Catholic priest to do it.

Q: What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common?

A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids.