I will admit that we have never shared a $200 dinner. In fact, we very rarely eat out. I prefer to cook at home, or help my daughter cook. We don't do anything extravagant. Pretty much everything we earn is invested.
It is unfortunate that you feel the need to be so calculated in your relationship. Real love is respecting your spouse and allowing her to make her own decisions, not buying her off with expensive gifts and dinners. Treating your wife like a domestic servant rather than an equal partner in your relationship does not sound like real love to me.
Then again, my husband and I met in real life. He didn't need to buy me off the internet.