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  1. #1
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    Talking Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?" That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&! amp;^( C .. ... reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

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    "I am allergic to piety, it makes me break out in rash judgements." - Penn Jillette
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "The man who invented the telescope found out more about heaven than the closed eyes of prayer ever discovered." - Robert G. Ingersoll

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    JOANNE WORLEY: Was that a chicken joke??????
    Last edited by KarlMarx; 09-02-2007 at 02:14 PM.
    How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. - Ronald Reagan

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    Quote Originally Posted by KarlMarx View Post
    JOANNE WORLEY: Was that a chicken joke??????
    Illegal Alien: I pledge my allegiance, to the chicken, of the United States of America...

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    HILLARY CLINTON: Because the chicken is part of a vast right wing conspiracy!!!!!!

    MICHAEL MOORE: To get better health care in Cuba!!!!!

    FRED THOMPSON: I will be making an announcement about the chicken any day now.....

    ADAM AND JAIME: The chicken crossing the road myth is totally busted!

    OZZY OSBOURNE: &**%^&#)(^*( chicken!!!

    LOUIE FARRAKHAN: Because the chicken had to get away from Whitey!!!!!

    CINDY SHEEHAN: I support the chicken but I don't support his mission!!!!!

    THE N.O.W: Because the chicken is being oppressed by a male dominated patriarchy!!!!

    MICHAEL VICK: I used to bet on chickens, but I was wrong, and for that, I am truly sorry....

    JACK BAUER: it was me during a field operation disguised as a chicken!

    ANDY WARHOL: To become Campbell's Chicken Soup

    P.E.T.A: It's mistreatment of animals! Animals have feelings, too, you know!!! If only everyone would go veg, chickens wouldn't have to cross the road!!!!!

    SALVADOR DALI: soft watches and fur

    PLATO: It clucks, therefore, it is

    SIGMUND FREUD: So, tell me, how long have you had this delusion that you are a chicken????

    MAHMOUD AHMANDINEJAD: It is a Jewish chicken and we must wipe it off the face of the map!!!!
    Last edited by KarlMarx; 09-02-2007 at 02:32 PM.
    How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. - Ronald Reagan

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    Default ....................

    Quote Originally Posted by Pale Rider View Post
    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

    OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?" That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&! amp;^( C .. ... reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
    You forgot Jerry Srpinger..............

    Jerry Springer:Remember fols, take care of your self, and eatchother. Chickens too!

    If you attack the Clintons publically make sure all your friends know your not planning on commiting suicide ~ McCain 2008
    Happiness is Obama's picture on the back of a milk carton.

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    OZZY OSBOURNE: &**%^&#)(^*( chicken!!!

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