Originally Posted by
BigProbe
12 September 2001
Beewding Fah Down?
There are times in life where we are tempted to raise our fists to the sky and shout “WHY, GOD???” We witness events happen beyond our control, imagination, and fears. We look to make reason out of insanity. We struggle with blame and cause.
Last night, while watching the never-ending broadcasts, they showed what was left of one section of the Pentagon. My thoughts drifted to MAJ Williams, a man I served in the Army with, who left Fort Lewis to work at the Pentagon. I wondered if he was safe. I wondered if his friends and loved ones were alive. I wondered if he was trapped under piles of burning rubble even I sat comfortably on my couch. As I started to cry, I lowered my head, slightly, so as not to disturb my 2 yr old daughter, Alaina. The disguise did not work. From across the living room, Alaina walked over to me and stood by me. She looked up at her mother and asked, “Daddy Cry?” I raised my head, and took her by the hand, bringing her close to me. I told her, “Yes, baby. Daddy is crying” Alaina put her arm around my neck and pulled my head close to her, comforting me with “Daddy, T’okay”.
At this point she looked up at the television to see the images of one of the World Trade Center buildings crash down upon itself. Alaina turned once again to me and said “Uh-Oh! Beewding Fah down?” I answered with, “Yes, love, Building Fall Down. That is why Daddy is crying.”
Alaina “oh Daddy…. T’okay Daddy…. I love yooo”.
With that, she released her hug and started walking towards her bedroom. I asked her if she wanted to watch more of the building. She replied, “Laina want color!” as she wobbled along down the hall to her room.
How refreshing it was to be around Alaina’s innocence, at a time like this. To hear her complete trust that, “everything would be okay”. And that even though the “beewding fah down” Alaina still loves her Daddy. Last night I couldn’t be away from Alaina more than a few minutes. I took solace from Alaina. Something about they way her little pony-tail would flop as she ran through the house helped me escape the horror of yesterday’s events, and find a still small place in my own mind. A place where I could just be 2 again. A place where people weren’t killed, planes were not crashed, and nobody hated anyone.
Alaina saved me last night. And the beauty of it is, she wasn’t even TRYING to. Once more I asked God, “Why? What did I do to ever deserve such a wonderful girl?”