I guess I'll start with my ex................. as some of you may remember from about 5 years ago. The a#$hole piece of s&^t I was married to for far to long and then divorced.
Part 1..........
So it starts with my 13 year old he starts dropping hints here and there about maybe living with his father, this started about 3 months ago. Knowing this child thought his dad, his words not mine, was an a##hole I was kinda taken aback by these little hints and pretty much ignored them.
About a month ago he busts out with I want to live with my dad. I was like what? why? his response well because I lived with you all of my life and I want to try to live with my dad for half the time I am growing up. I then said ok and? He says well my dads getting older and he wants to spend more time with me and since I'm getting older too.
I said ok now whats really going on what is your dad telling you and putting in your head? He says nothing but I'll have more money at my dad's and I can still come and see you. You have got to be kidding me?! More money?! I told him well he can pay me more child support and you'll have more money. This is the same kid who just got a $300.00 texter dream phone and mom pays his cell phone bill. OK
He then says well I won't have to deal with all the drama that's funny....I said are you serious? what drama? considering my current husband and I never ever argue. And I have talked to my ex's girlfriend a few times and yeah let's just say the man has not changed he still screams and yells and calls people names and it's like walking on eggshells living there....some things never change....I told her yeah good luck with that, thats why we are divorced, to much drama.
But according to my 13 year old his dad has changed he's not like that anymore. I told him ok and you have not lived with him since you were 9. Going and visiting every other weekend is way different then actually living there.
So needless to say about 3 weeks ago I read through my sons text messages and his dad was encouraging him on what to say. I let it go for the moment.
Then one evening me and the boy's went grocery shopping and my ex calls my cell he's being all nice and asking how things are going and wanting to know if I'm ok which is very suspicious to me but whatever I already know he has an ulterior motive for calling my phone........ and I'm waiting for it.
Here it comes.........well he says you know William is starting to get older and he wants to come and live with me I said yeah he's mentioned it. He then goes into how a great dad he is and how he is way better then all the other fathers he knows and I FLIPPED OUT in the middle of krogers. I am sure everyone heard my end of the conversation.
I was like great dad??!!! you have got to be kidding me, where in the f&^k do you get off calling your self a great dad? He says well I pay my child support every week and I get the boy's every other weekend. OH NO stop right there don't even try to pull that paying child support and getting your children 4 days a month, does not earn you father of the year award!!!
I said where the hell were you at in the past five years when I have had to take them to DR. appointments because there sick and I had to call off work, how about football practice and games, basketball practice and games, running them to their friends house's, and all the other running I have done. Where the hell were you at for the entire year Jesse was in counseling once a week that's 52 visits and you never went to one of them. What about parent teacher conferences never saw you at those either. Hell do you even know their teachers names?????? He had no answer.
I then said I am done with this conversation.......and I hung up on him.
So two days later he calls me again and starts on the same crap. I was at home then and put him on speaker phone my husband, my youngest son, and the neighbors daughter were all listening to him go on and on he then starts screaming at me and called me a stupid tramp......ok sure he's changed.
Everyone was sitting there like my husband says did he just call you a stupid tramp? My 11 year old son looks at me and says mom whats a tramp? and the neighbor girl was like wow ok. At that point I then told my ex he had 30 minutes to bring William home or I was calling the cops it was his weekend however it was after 6pm at this point. And I have full custody. He brought him home quickly.
A week goes by and i am noticing William seems to be distancing himself from me. William and I have always had a very close relationship. So I started thinking about things and decided that I am not going to be the bad guy here which is exactly what they are making me. I told William if you want to go live with your dad and try it out that's fine you can go and if you decide you don't like it you can always move back home. He was thrilled! I was not!
But I realized that he is 13 years old he will be 14 in May and I should actually be proud that he is confident enough to want to move out into the world and find his own place in the world. I believe I have instilled good morals and values in him and I'm confident he will make the right choices when push comes to shove. He is a really good kid with a good head on his shoulders! Now if I could just get him to quit changing girlfriends like he changes underwear.
Part 2...........
So since William wanted to move in with his dad we had to modify the child custody so we went and filed a joint motion to modify it to shared parenting so William could enroll in his dads school district.
We went to court yesterday we had no desire to modify anything but the custody part we have a child support order for $200.00 a month from 5 years ago that we never modified because I hate the child support system i never get the money when I am supposed to it's always a week to two weeks late but then sometimes i do get it when I am supposed to. So I didn't want anymore child support going through the system the two of us had agreed his child support would increase to $500.00 a month and he would give me $150.00 additional every two weeks so I knew I could count on getting it on time. However this was based on what I knew he was making 5 years ago. (my ex pointed out how his girlfriend made the comment about how she wished her kid's dad paid what my ex did and paid it on time) I made the comment well if she would have made better choices in who she choose to father her kids. I said my first ex couldn't keep a job I made it a point to make sure the next husband I had kept a job and made decent money just in case I divorced him too.
While in court yesterday the judge decided he wanted to do a child support worksheet but was ok with us leaving the child support as it stood since my ex is giving me money every other week on top of what goes through the system. My ex and i had already decided that he would continue giving me the same amount he had been giving me even though William was now living with him.
The judge got all of our work info pay and hours and then had us step out into the hall while he computed it.
My ex was sweating bullets he kept saying there going to kill me in child support.
We get called back in and the judge had determined that he was to pay me $348.00 a month even with him having one of the kids living with him. Which computes to him paying me $700.00 a month if I have both living with me. Hmmmmm so after court I made it a point to tell him you should have been paying me $700.00 a month for the past year and a half now so yeah we'll just leave it at $500.00 for now.
If William moves back in with me, you can damn well bet it's going up to $700.00 a month.