Where Is the Line Drawn with Cheating?

[Shadow]

Interesting article,thought finding out what others perspectives on these are would be too. Do you care if your spouse,GF/BF etc... participates in online flirting? Would you care if the het up with an Ex,or would their fantasizing about co workers or other friends bother you? Are these considered cheating in your opinion?



A few weeks ago, a friend told me that her married friend was seeing her ex-boyfriend, but there was "nothing physical about it". Considering her husband did not know she was seeing her ex-boyfriend, I still considered it shady. It got me wondering, outside of shacking up with someone else, what constitutes cheating? I always thought: anything you wouldn't want your significant other to catch you doing with someone else was cheating. But that's a little unforgiving. There are a lot of things that could be considered "cheating," but we may not agree on them all. What is your opinion on the following possibilities (detailed decriptions of a listed items at link):


Porn
An Online Companion
Seeing An Ex
A "Work Spouse"
Fantasizing

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/w...ating-2522771/

[chloe]

I see nothing wrong with flirting in public in front of everyone including the spouse or lover, I think when it's done privately it becomes blurry and boundaries can be crossed. I don't think it necassary to share every thought or fantasy you may have about some other person, but if you act on it that is cheating. I really don't consider porn cheating its a stimulas for alot of people, unless porn is more important or replaces being intimate with the spouse or lover, that would be a problem.

Flirting is different then having a sexual conversation designed to "get off" physically, I think if you are having a sexual flirtation and ending the result in an orgasm you have cheated. Then there is too the "emotional" cheating which is pretty common. That is when you aren't getting some kind of emotional fulfilment in the relationship and so you start confiding more and more into someone else things that you should be talking out with your partner, I think that if I feel that way it is best to end the relationship and have a clean break and sort out what was lacking or go to counseling and try to build a better emotional connection with the person I made a commitment to.

[SassyLady]

Interesting article,thought finding out what others perspectives on these are would be too. Do you care if your spouse,GF/BF etc... participates in online flirting? Would you care if the het up with an Ex,or would their fantasizing about co workers or other friends bother you? Are these considered cheating in your opinion?



A few weeks ago, a friend told me that her married friend was seeing her ex-boyfriend, but there was "nothing physical about it". Considering her husband did not know she was seeing her ex-boyfriend, I still considered it shady. It got me wondering, outside of shacking up with someone else, what constitutes cheating? I always thought: anything you wouldn't want your significant other to catch you doing with someone else was cheating. But that's a little unforgiving. There are a lot of things that could be considered "cheating," but we may not agree on them all. What is your opinion on the following possibilities (detailed decriptions of a listed items at link):


Porn
An Online Companion
Seeing An Ex
A "Work Spouse"
Fantasizing

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/w...ating-2522771/

Cheating is anything that can damage your relationship.

[Shadow]

I see nothing wrong with flirting in public in front of everyone including the spouse or lover, I think when it's done privately it becomes blurry and boundaries can be crossed. I don't think it necassary to share every thought or fantasy you may have about some other person, but if you act on it that is cheating. I really don't consider porn cheating its a stimulas for alot of people, unless porn is more important or replaces being intimate with the spouse or lover, that would be a problem.

Flirting is different then having a sexual conversation designed to "get off" physically, I think if you are having a sexual flirtation and ending the result in an orgasm you have cheated. Then there is too the "emotional" cheating which is pretty common. That is when you aren't getting some kind of emotional fulfilment in the relationship and so you start confiding more and more into someone else things that you should be talking out with your partner, I think that if I feel that way it is best to end the relationship and have a clean break and sort out what was lacking or go to counseling and try to build a better emotional connection with the person I made a commitment to.

So, you don't think a married person who participates in heavy sexual online flirting falls into the catagory of "emotional cheating"? I kind of disagree with that. If you have to relate to people online in a heavy laden sexual manner for attention...something is definately missing in your married life/relationship. Why else would you need this kind of validation? I will agree that I don't think looking at porn is cheating though... both men and women like the visual and it's pretty impersonal. But I do know women who do,because it makes them feel undesireable and lacking.

[Shadow]

Cheating is anything that can damage your relationship.

I agree...because what you may percieve as perfectly fine in reguards to your interactions with the opposite sex. May not be "fine" with your partner.

What about personal conversations with a married co worker. Not about significant others...but pretty personal and sexual in nature? Does this cross the line?

[revelarts]

Cheating is anything that can damage your relationship.

Me not washing my plate the other day was "damaging to the relationship". Now it's Cheating too? Man I'm Toast.

[chloe]

So, you don't think a married person who participates in heavy sexual online flirting falls into the catagory of "emotional cheating"? I kind of disagree with that. If you have to relate to people online in a heavy laden sexual manner for attention...something is definately missing in your married life/relationship. Why else would you need this kind of validation? I will agree that I don't think looking at porn is cheating though... both men and women like the visual and it's pretty impersonal. But I do know women who do,because it makes them feel undesireable and lacking.

I don't think I said "heavy sexual flirting" I said sexual flirting with the point of getting off is cheating. I said there is nothing wrong with flirting in public like kidding around flirting but taking flirting private causes blurry boundaries. Where did I say heavy sexual flirting is harmless and ok? Also I said emotional cheating is wrong too and should be dealt with in counseling or the person should get out of the relationship they are in and work on themselves.

[ConHog]

So, you don't think a married person who participates in heavy sexual online flirting falls into the catagory of "emotional cheating"? I kind of disagree with that. If you have to relate to people online in a heavy laden sexual manner for attention...something is definately missing in your married life/relationship. Why else would you need this kind of validation? I will agree that I don't think looking at porn is cheating though... both men and women like the visual and it's pretty impersonal. But I do know women who do,because it makes them feel undesireable and lacking.

That's not always true. Nothing is lacking in my marriage. I just like to have online groupies.

[chloe]

That's not always true. Nothing is lacking in my marriage. I just like to have online groupies.

where do I sign up?

[ConHog]

where do I sign up?

I think you're the President of the club, aren't you?

[chloe]

I think you're the President of the club, aren't you?

Yes, I best sign out for a bit, I am already working on the "conhog" Christmas news letter, your wife has been so kind as to send me some lovely recipes to include for your fans in the conhog fan club newsletter so they can be skinny bitches.

[ConHog]

Yes, I best sign out for a bit, I am already working on the "conhog" Christmas news letter, your wife has been so kind as to send me some lovely recipes to include for your fans in the conhog fan club newsletter so they can be skinny bitches.

Oh Lawd help us if you and my wife ever started talking , she'd just shatter your illusions. LOL

[Gaffer]

Oh Lawd help us if you and my wife ever started talking , she'd just shatter your illusions. LOL

She'd shatter the myth you have worked so hard to create.

[ConHog]

She'd shatter the myth you have worked so hard to create.

Actually I have told Chloe that other than being ruggedly handsome, extraordinarily athletic, brilliant, and hung like a horse, I'm a pretty average guy.

[Gaffer]

Actually I have told Chloe that other than being ruggedly handsome, extraordinarily athletic, brilliant, and hung like a horse, I'm a pretty average guy.

And humble.