Originally Posted by
revelarts
Cheating's definition is getting broader and broader.
I get Dmp's point but it's not adultery in the strict sense. IMO having sex with someone else other than your spouse is "Cheating".
And sex is the manipulation of genitals for a pleasurable response. (rules out doc etc).
Until that happens it's flirting, petting or sensual/emotion bad behavior but it's not "adultery" or "Cheating".
emotional abandonment is emotional abandonment, it wrong as well but not "cheating".
The question is do 2 wrongs make a right (insert country music or blues song here). The answer is no. while emotionally people can rip each other to pieces in various ways it's not a justification for adultery/cheating. A separation may be in order, to distance yourself from the abuser/neglector but that's really as far as someone is JUSTIFIED in going.
But here's my question for the ladies.
Women are justifiable Appalled at men's adultery. and when it's been portrayed in films where the bad old no good man cheating with the hot secretary gets his come upances. Women talk about it around the water cooler "yeah that cheating so and so got whats coming to him! yeah". But in films where the woman is the adulterer USUALLY its portrayed as a LOVE STORY, where the poor emotional dry marriage is cast aside for TRUE LOOOOVE or Fiery PASSION. the talk around the water cooler is different, women are all breathless and swoony sighing and stuff.
What's wrong with this picture, why the double standard?
And isn't it similar to what DMP is describing?
I think you get my point - adultery is just one form of cheating another out of the promises we make.
Your spot-on my friend re: movies and what not. My comments are not about justification but understanding. I'm talking realities around relationships. I know a woman who hen-pecks her man. She attempts to control every situation - to be the 'alpha'. I worry some day a woman will come into the husband's life and encourage him to be the man - to be the natural leader, provider, protector he's 'wired' to be. Would not surprise me, if that happens, he falls for the other woman.
We all make our beds. We sow seeds. In a relationship or marriage, the outcome is the result of what's been 'planted' in the early stages. Thus, there really is no, or little 'surprise' "cheating". It's the logical, if tragic, consequence of the investments - or lack thereof - made in one-another.
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.