Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One muffin said to the other, “Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?”
And the other muffin said, “AAAAAGH!!! A talking muffin!!!”
Senior Member
Funny :)
Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One muffin said to the other, “Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?”
And the other muffin said, “AAAAAGH!!! A talking muffin!!!”
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.
Senior Member
Now that was so dumb it made me laugh anyway! maybe I just needed a laugh.
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
Your head exploded
courtesy of my 6 year oldOriginally Posted by dmp
What did the mayonnaise say when the man opened the refrigerator door?
"Ayee shut the door, I'm dressing"
Yeah yeah, she's 6 people.
Senior Member
From when I was a kid:
"What did the salt say to the pepper?"
"Nothing because salt can't talk and pepper can't hear."
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
Steelers in '23
The joke that my Mom loved to tell everyone... and she had some great ones that were dirty, but this was her favorite...
Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit
A. unique up on him
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock
Smitten Senior Admin
One from my childhood:
Use "Cadillac" in a sentence- "A cadillac mean if you pull it's tail".
After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown
“Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
-Abbey
Steelers in '23
That reminds me of The Little Rascals...
Buckwheat was asked to use the word "isthmus" in a sentence and replied with "isthmus be my lucky day"
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?” - Chris Rock
Your head exploded
What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on the Formicidae?
"dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant"
Senior Member
Two marshmallows were walking down a rail-road track. One fell off - the other said "What do you think I am, a RADIO??!"
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.
Senior Member
I haven't figured it out but it made me laugh all the same!
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
Senior Member
I heard it when I was 10, from my then-high-school brother. None of us - nobody in my family - has a clue what it means
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.
Ignored by the alt-right
There's a follow up.
Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A. Tame way.
"when socialism fails, blame capitalism and demand more socialism." - A friend
"You know the difference between libs and right-wingers? Libs STFU when evidence refutes their false beliefs." - Another friend
“Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” - Paulo Coelho
Senior Member
How do you catch a red elephant?
“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.
Senior Member
If Helen Keller falls down in a forest, does she make a noise?
"The social contract exists so that everyone doesn’t have to squat in the dust holding a spear to protect his woman and his meat all day every day. It does not exist so that the government can take your spear, your meat, and your woman because it knows better what to do with them." - Instapundit.com
Copacetic
I think I've told this one before but...
A teacher goes to a student and says, "Use I in a sentence."
The student replies, "I is...", but the teacher interrupts and says, "No, that's incorrect grammar, say 'I am.'"
So the student says "I am the ninth letter in the alphabet."
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