California-Texas Translation Guide
(stolen from a friend's site)
California–Texas Translation Guide
Intended for use when listening to mainstream media.
A lexicon, with translations, for Californians who are visiting Texas or vice versa.
In California = In Texas
Diverse or Lifestyle Choice = Sinful and Perverted
Arsenal of Weapons = Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands = Swamps
Undocumented Worker = Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials = Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery = Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed = Well-protected
Narrow-minded = Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share = Coerced Theft
Common sense Gun Control = Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives = Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass = Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity = Socialism
Multicultural Community = High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress = Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich" = Self-Employed
Progressive, Change = Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged = Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle = Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future = Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform = Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative Truants = Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed = Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine = Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot = Church-going, God fearing
Reintroduced Wolves = Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee = Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich" = Employers or Land Owners
The Gun Lobby = NRA Members
Assault Weapon = Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus = New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage = Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting = Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
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Originally Posted by Jess
