Learning How to Debate

[DragonStryk72]

Six steps for not using "gay" as a derogatory term.

Recognise that using the word gay as a derogatory term is considered homophobic. Unless you already have, realise that using the word gay to insult something or someone implies that you think there is something wrong with being homosexual. This makes you look hateful.

Understand the word that you want to avoid using. Gay is just a term to describe a person's sexuality. Gay people have needs, feelings and goals just like you do. The only difference between a gay person and a straight person is who they are attracted to. Understand that using the word gay in a derogatory manner is extremely insulting.

Register every time you use gay in a derogatory manner. Every time you use (or try to use) the word gay to refer to someone or something that you don't like or think is stupid, wrong or bad in any way, take a mental note. Examine why you want to use it, and then every time you want to, try to use a different word that is not offensive to gay people or any other person. Use words like stupid, wick, annoying or wrong instead.

Come up with alternative phrases or words to use. When using replacements, remember that they apply not only to spoken language, but also to writing and most importantly, thinking. If you constantly challenge yourself to use alternatives, over time you will become more used to them and may even forget that you could have used to use the word gay - inappropriately. used to use the word gay - inappropriately.

http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Your-Vocabulary

Realize that calling people homophobic is actually both incorrect to the term, and insulting to the person you're angry at for a 'perceived' insult where none may actually exist. The insults of fag, and oddly enough, gay, no longer refer to gays anymore for the most part, or else my buddy Hector think my copy of Street Fighter IV has a penis and is out having sex with men.

MY dad should register every time he uses gay or fag in a derogatory manner? Oh that's gonna be fun.

[Wind Song]

Have you ever chastised a gay man for using a slur, like fag?

Yes, I have.

[Wind Song]

Realize that calling people homophobic is actually both incorrect to the term, and insulting to the person you're angry at for a 'perceived' insult where none may actually exist. The insults of fag, and oddly enough, gay, no longer refer to gays anymore for the most part, or else my buddy Hector think my copy of Street Fighter IV has a penis and is out having sex with men.

MY dad should register every time he uses gay or fag in a derogatory manner? Oh that's gonna be fun.

Your dad is alive. Mine isn't.

[Wind Song]

Regardless; it did sting. You implied Jim wasn't lucky or loved, and by including the 'gay' modifiers you suggest causation.

I had no intention of implying that Jim was unlucky or unloved. I'm sorry it stung. It wasn't my intention.
I meant that Jim would be just as lucky to be a loving gay man as he is a loving heterosexual man.

Over and over I said that the term "gay" should NOT be used as insult. When I used it to refer to Jim, I used it with the same love and respect I have for my father, who was gay.

I admit that I carry the burden of my father's death heavily in my heart. Gay hate was his undoing.

[DragonStryk72]

Your dad is alive. Mine isn't.

Um, I'm sorry about your dad, but what does that have to do with my dad, who is gay, I remind you, using gay and fag? See, this sort of stuff completely stops proper debate, because it is both wildly off topic, and it's clearly being used for guilt tripping, which just agitates people. Don't keep playing that card, WS, it never helps you. It comes across as you using your father's death as leverage against the people you're debating.

[Wind Song]

Um, I'm sorry about your dad, but what does that have to do with my dad, who is gay, I remind you, using gay and fag? See, this sort of stuff completely stops proper debate, because it is both wildly off topic, and it's clearly being used for guilt tripping, which just agitates people. Don't keep playing that card, WS, it never helps you. It comes across as you using your father's death as leverage against the people you're debating.

I'm not using my father's death as "debate leverage". I'm using it to show why I'm so sensitive to these derogatory terms.

It's background for the burden I carry. It speaks to my motivation, my loyalty to my father and my committment to not put up with predjudicial bullshit.

I lost my father to hate. I only mentioned your father, who is alive and well, (I'm happy to hear) to show that our experiences as children of gay men are different.

I do take your point, and I see why you think I'm "guilt tripping'. It isn't my intention. It shows my vulnerability and sensitivity are related to something as core and important as the loss of my father.

[ConHog]

It's part of life; there's always someone trying to get up by stepping on those ahead. But I don't really think its quite as cutthroat as a pecking order in most cases. Usually, its just guys unable to show their emotions for fear of rejection. Oddly, it becomes a term of endearment; that when Jim calls me a fag, he's sort of admitting he likes me, just not in that way.

Although with Jim one never knows for sure.

[Wind Song]

I've got a pretty idea of how Jim views me.

[logroller]

Actually, Faggot is a term that refers to a specific job in olden times, for the person who would gather sticks in the woods for firewood. Currently in England, it's a slang term for cigs. And even the current "slur" fag no longer refers to someone being gay, for the most part. They actually had a whole episode of South Park on it, believe it or not. Fag as a term has change more than five times in the past 100 years. Now it seems to be shifting again, away from referring to gays. It's now become more in line with calling someone a pussy or a wuss.

Freaking hilarious.
http://www.southparkstudios.com/full...e12-the-f-word

[Wind Song]

A whole episode of South Park on it? I bet it was funny.

[Dilloduck]

I'm not using my father's death as "debate leverage". I'm using it to show why I'm so sensitive to these derogatory terms.

It's background for the burden I carry. It speaks to my motivation, my loyalty to my father and my committment to not put up with predjudicial bullshit.

I lost my father to hate. I only mentioned your father, who is alive and well, (I'm happy to hear) to show that our experiences as children of gay men are different.

I do take your point, and I see why you think I'm "guilt tripping'. It isn't my intention. It shows my vulnerability and sensitivity are related to something as core and important as the loss of my father.

You didn't lose your father to hate. It was suicide.

[logroller]

Although with Jim one never knows for sure.

Still holding out hope I see....just let it go, man.

[Wind Song]

I'd appreciate it if you don't talk about my father. You don't know what I know about his life. I won't speculate on your family. Stay off mine.

Family is off limits. I can talk about my family, you can't.

[Dilloduck]

I'd appreciate it if you don't talk about my father. You don't know what I know about his life. I won't speculate on your family. Stay off mine.

Then leave him out of the discussion.

[Wind Song]

Then leave him out of the discussion.

I can mention something about my family, you don't get to use it against me in a debate. My family is off limits to you.