I want to hunt, but I believe I'm unable to do it
While mowing last night, near our garden bed, I was watching my mowing line when movement up ahead caught my eye. I looked up and saw a large Doe about 40 feet from me (estimate - I was half-way along our 60' garden - she was just beyond the far edge of the plot)standing perpendicular to my travel, but head and eyes watching me. She was beautiful. Her coat was nearly the colour of my dog. Beyond her another 20 feet was a young buck, his ~8" antlers just sprouted. Both stood and watched me. I shut the mower down and stared back. After a few seconds, they gracefully walked across our driveway and towards our pond. I started the mower and followed some - they went up to the apple trees in the back of the house, then around to the far side of our pond, and snacked on a couple nibbles of weeping willow. On foot, I approached my side of the pond as the young lovers pranced down between my willows, and out to our tall grass and evergreens.
I was thinking - I cannot fathom putting a 12 gauge slug into either of their chests. I wanted to pet them, not kill them. Yet, I want to have the skill to harvest the deer. However, being around my dog - a real emotion/instinct-driven creature with a heart and lungs and whatever...man...I'm not sure I could do it.
Is all life too precious? Would probably be easier to take down a feral pig or something not as pretty as a deer, maybe...
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“… the greatest detractor from high performance is fear: fear that you are not prepared, fear that you are in over your head, fear that you are not worthy, and ultimately, fear of failure. If you can eliminate that fear—not through arrogance or just wishing difficulties away, but through hard work and preparation—you will put yourself in an incredibly powerful position to take on the challenges you face" - Pete Carroll.