Trigg and Nuke were already married at my age. Just sayin.
Ok, maybe not "pissed". I guess it'd be better to say sad/disappointed/a little miffed. Or, something like that. I don't have a way with words.
AT wrote something about the divorce rate being 50%, me and her are totally against divorce. You don't throw it away, you fix it.
"If you must mount the gallows, give a jest to the crowd, a coin to the hangman, and make the drop with a smile on your lips"
Does Monkeybone have to choke a bitch?
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" —Benjamin Franklin, 1759
Dude, marriage at your age is a mistake. You'll have a few happy years together to enjoy life as a couple. Then the kids come along.
Unless you spend a good amount of years enjoying just each other, you could both end up resenting the most important gifts you'll ever receive in life... your children.
Patience is not only a virtue, it is essential for a happy and healthy life together.
A solid relationship needs time. Time to build a foundation...time to grow...time to flourish. Marriage too young takes all that away.
I was married right out of college. First 2-3 years were great. Then financial struggles.. kids... etc. We tried for the last 10 years of the marriage to 'fix' it. Counselors individually, together, church counselors, private counselors, retreats, books, you name it, we tried it. There was even my 3rd son, whom I love more than I love my own life, who was her 'save the marriage baby'. Didn't work.
Take your time. Do it right. A lot of us didn't and we regret it.
Cadet. Cliche's sound fine. "You don't throw it away, you fix it' is a good start. But when the reality finally hits home, and both of you discover You really don't know each other as well as you INSIST today. It takes on a totally different feeling.
Over many years of trial, and many errors. Our 44 years have not all be glorious, wonderful loving, days of endless bliss.
Truth is. If both of you aren't willing to commit totally in every way early on. That DON'T THROW IT AWAY, YOU FIX IT sentence means nothing.
Our most pressing, early problems with our marriage began in the 70's, when we actually had days where FOOD became a luxury item if...we wanted to keep our first home by paying the mortgage on time.
Both of us worked. And the Money was always the biggest bone of contention that nearly caused us to break up.
That didn't just happen once, but many times.
MONEY, and Lack of Communication...100% communication is the 'FIX IT' you talked about. But reality wasn't always that easy to do.
If the two of you are now in any kind of argument where She is pissed, for such a simple idea, or reason.
It sounds foolish to me, that you are even seriously considering taking the BIG STEP of proposing marriage. Especially in an economy like we have today, and without you or her, finishing school, or training.
If you start your life together with TROUBLES. Those troubles never seem to ever go away. And the same can be said for your marriage IF.....It's not based on total love, trust, and reality first.
You asked....there's what I have to say.
Take it, or leave it. But in no way can you blame me, or anyone else here for YOUR LIFE CHOICES.
I love to make Liberals Cry, and Whine.
So, this is for them.
GOD BLESS AMERICA - IN GOD WE TRUST !
AT tends to be rather emotional and a bit bombastic, but he's really telling it like it is in most cases.
For most folks, money is more than likely to be an issue into at least your late 40's, moreso if your combined skills are less than good.
Too many kids, too many illnesses, multiply the problems.
Now totally anecdotal, coming from an area that is outside the parameters of most areas in US. I married at 25, had 2 BA degrees and was making over $30k when the average was around $20k. My husband had 2 BA's and MBA and was making a thousand less than myself. Good salaries then.
My good friend from HS had left my house, when I went to college at 18. She hadn't been getting along with her folks and moved in with us during the last months of hs. When I went away to school, my mom told her she needed to go back home 'and decide what she was goig to do.' She met and married the guy that was fixing her car that weekend.
She'd 'known him' for 36 hours.
She's still married and in love. Her 3 'kids' are all older than mine, 2 finished universities, 1 is a doctor. She's still in love with her mechanic.
I've been divorced for many years.
There are no guarantees. Some is just gut feelings and commitments to ideals.
"The government is a child that has found their parents credit card, and spends knowing that they never have to reconcile the bill with their own money"-Shannon Churchill
Cadet, I'm sure your girl is intelligent enough to know that you've got something going on by setting up this game. I would do a couple of dry runs first. Just pick a special day and do this a little toned down and run her through the paces. Or, have a friend set the two of you up and play it together the first time, and that way she might not think it's the "big one", but just a little one to spice things up.
Truthfully, I would love to have someone this creative in my life. Life would definitely not be boring!!
If the freedom of speech is taken away
then dumb and silent we may be led,
like sheep to the slaughter.
George Washington (1732-1799) First President of the USA.
Lots of good advice here; truth is, in the long run, it won't matter when you propose, or what ring you use. If you're both committed to making it work, it will. But both of you must have the same "it" in mind. A lasting relationship built upon trust and mutual respect is not found in a ring, no matter the price. Work on your proposal; define what it is that you seek in a marriage, how you will secure it, and what great things, with her as your wife, you will have together. If she shares your vision, she be overcome with emotion and won't notice the ring until well-after she puts it on. (Then shes on the hook ) If its not what she had in mind...welcome to marriage. Sometimes we make sacrifices to accomplish something greater. :Godspeed:
He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.AeschylusRead more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/qu...zeMUwcpY1Io.99
Buddy I am going to give you the same advice I would give either of my two older boys that are right around your age
1) Don't ever propose because she wants you to or is pissed that you haven't ( if this relationship is right it will survive the time for you to do it when you know it is right
2) In todays day and age it takes two to work and if you want children eventually it is very expensive( daycare alone without a college education will take care of her salary so she might as well stay home with the kids ) get your schooling out of the way both of ya, ( after all if this is true love it will survive the time )
3) A guy gave me this advice a half hour before I was suppose to be at the church for my first marriage , I was sitting in the local bar with my best man and a older guy told me son do yourself a favor find your way buy a house and then get married ( most young marriages have trouble due to money and if you do bring a young one into it before your schooling is done buying a house ie very hard
4) buddy probably the best advice I can give ya is talk to your folks they know you best and are fine people , take there advice as gospel
5) if ya decide to go through with it I wish ya the best of luck and pray yall have a wonderful life together
Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up
Cadet , its your life so you get to live it , mistakes and all. I married too young the first time and it didn't work but that's not to say yours wouldn't. I married a certified completely selfish biatccccchhhh the second time it didn't work ,even with me trying to fix it for most of the 22 years. Third time a home run because I learned from my mistakes. My advice is too wait but then again if waiting would cause you to lose somebody you love --Don't wait! Your call-best of luck!! -Tyr
18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.
I saw this thread and decided to stay out of it until some replies had been made.
Nuke and I thought Cadet worded his initial post in an odd way and also questioned the part about her being "pissed".
He's right that Nuke and I got married very young, as did my parents and in-laws, which is why telling him to wait is falling of deaf ears lol.
They are planning to finish school first which gives them BOTH 2 years to do some growing up.