Quote Originally Posted by jimnyc View Post
Not as much holding them back as much as I find it personal. I like to grieve in my room, on my own time and such. I feel very awkward if I cry in front of others, or in public. So it's not as if they aren't there, trust me, they were and are.

And while I'll do so, I'll love Porter as my best friend as well, and protect him. It seemed to get him excited, or depressed, so I figured it would be wise to let him do his own thing as well. It's so recent that I'm not sure that he fully realizes he's not coming back yet. I think some might feel it's weird of me to protect him as such, to avoid routines and names, so as not to make HIM uncomfortable. Maybe it's partially for me too, but I say his name of course when not in front of the little guy.
And that's your business. I respect that.

Feeling it's your job to be responsible for others can mess up your head. You can't stop death. None of us can.