Attachment within sexual relationships.

[NightTrain]

I'm not wired that way. The betrayal from my first marriage left me crushed. Devastated. I couldn't even summon my anger to help, which is a damn sorry place to be in.

But once I finally was able to rouse my anger as a defense mechanism, triggered by concern for my kid's well being, it was a pure, white-hot fury that took several years to cool. But it gave me the edge and I won everything.

I see what the article is saying, but instincts for 1 man, 1 woman, 1 family is a powerful thing - and I think the notion of free love within the marriage is no marriage at all. It's a sham.

[darin]

Is it a sham because others are in a different place when it comes to all that?

As the author mentions, she is not enlightened yet - and she too would be devastated.

I LOVE the idea of what she writes. I would love to not allow another's happiness to cause me pain simply because their happiness means they leave me. I want to be strong enough to allow them to leave without impact to my self-worth - and remember, Conflict IS a perceived threat to one's self-esteem.

Further - I think I am no longer in a place where I can entertain the traditional ideas of what a relationship should be. But I am in my place - nobody has to understand.

[NightTrain]

Is it a sham because others are in a different place when it comes to all that?

As the author mentions, she is not enlightened yet - and she too would be devastated.

I LOVE the idea of what she writes. I would love to not allow another's happiness to cause me pain simply because their happiness means they leave me. I want to be strong enough to allow them to leave without impact to my self-worth - and remember, Conflict IS a perceived threat to one's self-esteem.

Further - I think I am no longer in a place where I can entertain the traditional ideas of what a relationship should be. But I am in my place - nobody has to understand.

Til death do us part.

IMO, that should be taken literally. Even though I'm twice married, I still believe that.

I know lots of guys that are confirmed bachelors... they'll get a girlfriend for a few years, then move on to other people and it's usually a somewhat problem-free breakup and they have fun with someone else for as long as they feel comfy in the relationship. I don't see anything wrong with that - they're happy with it and that's all that matters. And they're not engaging in marriages that are casually thrown aside, even though the promise was spoken.

I'm not judging! Just my view on it, for better or worse. (!)

[darin]

You know I love you Rick

[jimnyc]

You know I love you Rick

You told me that recently as well. I thought we were therefore spoken for.

[NightTrain]

You told me that recently as well. I thought we were therefore spoken for.

Oh shit, now Jim knows.

[Abbey Marie]

You told me that recently as well. I thought we were therefore spoken for.

Sounds like it's time for another staff key party.


Oodles and Bunches of love,
Abbey

I'm not wired that way. The betrayal from my first marriage left me crushed. Devastated. I couldn't even summon my anger to help, which is a damn sorry place to be in.

But once I finally was able to rouse my anger as a defense mechanism, triggered by concern for my kid's well being, it was a pure, white-hot fury that took several years to cool. But it gave me the edge and I won everything.

I see what the article is saying, but instincts for 1 man, 1 woman, 1 family is a powerful thing - and I think the notion of free love within the marriage is no marriage at all. It's a sham.

I heart your last sentence.

[indago]

You know I love you Rick

You two should get a room...



They'll leave the light on for ya...

[Tyr-Ziu Saxnot]

I'm not wired that way. The betrayal from my first marriage left me crushed. Devastated. I couldn't even summon my anger to help, which is a damn sorry place to be in.

But once I finally was able to rouse my anger as a defense mechanism, triggered by concern for my kid's well being, it was a pure, white-hot fury that took several years to cool. But it gave me the edge and I won everything.

I see what the article is saying, but instincts for 1 man, 1 woman, 1 family is a powerful thing - and I think the notion of free love within the marriage is no marriage at all. It's a sham.

The betrayal from my first marriage left me crushed. Devastated. I couldn't even summon my anger to help, which is a damn sorry place to be in.

But once I finally was able to rouse my anger as a defense mechanism, triggered by concern for my kid's well being, it was a pure, white-hot fury that took several years to cool. But it gave me the edge and I won everything.

Almost dead on, word for word, how I felt during my divorce. And yes, I got the house and custody of our 14 year old daughter.
Here in the South, it almost takes an Act of God, for the dad to get custody--even more so when the child is a daughter. Always a major slam on the mother in regards to her truly being a fit mother.. -Tyr

[darin]

^^ Wouldn't it be great to love ourselves enough to avoid trauma like that? That's my goal.

Course, with MY dating life, 'loving myself' is about as far as it goes.

[Gunny]

I'm not wired that way. The betrayal from my first marriage left me crushed. Devastated. I couldn't even summon my anger to help, which is a damn sorry place to be in.

But once I finally was able to rouse my anger as a defense mechanism, triggered by concern for my kid's well being, it was a pure, white-hot fury that took several years to cool. But it gave me the edge and I won everything.

I see what the article is saying, but instincts for 1 man, 1 woman, 1 family is a powerful thing - and I think the notion of free love within the marriage is no marriage at all. It's a sham.

Hope you don't think this is some exclusive club, bubba. I got your 6 on this one. I couldn't even think. Had my oldest daughter not refused to leave ME (tossed moms to the curb ), I'd probably be insane. I had Marine officers treading lightly around me. Unlike you, I had no problem with the anger thing and I was on a hair trigger.

And my first concern WAS my kids. I came from a broken home. I did everything in my power to not repeat it. Unfortunately, it takes 2.