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Thread: Haiku thread

  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot View Post
    Love it - presented with exceptional imagery, depth and heart.. ---Tyr

    Thank you!
    I fixed the syllables. I find that I initially count them correctly, and then when I edit a line to sound better, I forget to re-count them!
    I’ll get there eventually.

    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Thank you!
    I fixed the syllables. I find that I initially count them correctly, and then when I edit a line to sound better, I forget to re-count them!
    I’ll get there eventually.

    Remember that haiku are image based, not based upon sound when one reads the verses.
    And I have myself done the same when editing to create the image desired, oft changing a word forgetting that it has more syllable than the one it replaces.
    Your ability to compose haiku is already on a high level in my opinion. --Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  5. #93
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    Memories In the Garden

    Abandoned book lies
    unread, unnoticed, unloved
    sad woman looks back
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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  7. #94
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    Trying the “Lune” format (5-3-5):

    Languid Afternoon

    Calm water flows by
    two lovers
    sunbeams on soft grass
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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  9. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Trying the “Lune” format (5-3-5):

    Languid Afternoon

    Calm water flows by
    two lovers
    sunbeams on soft grass
    I have not yet tried that poetry form.Yours is a great and fine creative piece using so few words to cast a strong and deep
    realization on love's depths, beauty and its many blessings!
    Bravo! -Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Memories In the Garden

    Abandoned book lies
    unread, unnoticed, unloved
    sad woman looks back
    A vivid and very creatively woven tapestry of life, mystery and hints of lost love...
    Or love never ever found. A truly fine haiku!!
    Love the title too..... -Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    Words Scorch the Heart

    Betrayal is penned
    on paper so white and pure
    room spins, letter drops

    Abbey. 5/17/2019
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    In the Old, Old Library

    Stacks of dusty books
    forgotten armchair beckons
    real world fades away

    Abbey 5/17/2019
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    MISTY MARINE MORN

    Hazy horizon
    tangy salt spray embraces
    gull cries, tide recedes

    Abbey 5/17/2019
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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    My friend, those are three wonderful and top class haiku. I wish that I had composed them!
    You certainly have poetry in your veins and clearly exhibit immense talent.
    Such a gift should be exercised and presented to others to read and enjoy/benefit from, as truth is , poetry is a gift to the world, IMHO!
    Bravo!! -Tyr
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  21. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot View Post
    My friend, those are three wonderful and top class haiku. I wish that I had composed them!
    You certainly have poetry in your veins and clearly exhibit immense talent.
    Such a gift should be exercised and presented to others to read and enjoy/benefit from, as truth is , poetry is a gift to the world, IMHO!
    Bravo!! -Tyr
    Thank you Robert. I’m sure I have a long way to go to earn such praise, but I’m enjoying the process too much to let that stop me. I especially like composing these during those long almost-sleepless nights. I think others here should try it too.

    Eventually, I will try a longer form. I’ve always loved sonnets, so maybe that’s next. In fact, we included one in our wedding.
    After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box - Author unknown

    “Unfortunately, the truth is now whatever the media say it is”
    -Abbey

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  23. #102
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    That Cherished Memory

    dead tree little shade
    green cane around old boat dock
    night breeze, stars above

    Robert J. Lindley, 7-11-2019
    Haiku
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    A Serene Spring Scene

    small olive-green pond
    fawn in verdant lush meadow
    sky and summer morn


    Robert J. Lindley ,1-31-2020
    haiku-
    (As an old poet sweetly remembers and dreams )
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 01-31-2020 at 05:43 PM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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  27. #104
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    The View And The Memory

    golden light, cool morn
    magnificence, red sunset
    life and calm repose

    Robert J. Lindley, 5-26-2020
    Haiku,
    (Once a day spent at the lake.....)

    ************************************

    edit shown below are from previous composing...


    (Haiku Trilogy, Thoughts and Views)
    composing pre-dawn hours


    (1.)

    Life, Contrasting Views

    doe and fawn grazing
    radiant sun beaming down
    night cries, city born

    Robert J. Lindley, 5/23-2020
    haiku,


    (2.)

    The Camp And The Hope

    fire,dying embers
    tent and gear snow covered
    dawn and hope rising

    Robert J. Lindley, 5/23-2020
    haiku,

    (3.)

    Remembered Times

    home and hearth winter
    chilling winds whispering deep
    white sands, vacation

    Robert J. Lindley, 5/23-2020
    haiku,
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 05-26-2020 at 08:36 AM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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    Mind Shadows And Hurt

    sorrows and deep woe
    invisible the dark foe
    echo of sad night

    Robert J. Lindley, 5-27-202-
    Haiku, ( When A Dark Reality Bites )
    Last edited by Tyr-Ziu Saxnot; 05-27-2020 at 07:18 PM.
    18 U.S. Code § 2381-Treason Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall suffer death, or shall be imprisoned not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than $10,000; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.

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