Good marriage advice: Go to bed angry

[High_Plains_Drifter]

Course I wouldn't know but, I can imagine that if I spent virtually all my time around someone, the same person, then I don't see how it's even possible that there would never be a fight. I don't see how fighting with that person would ever be a good thing either. I don't think it's good for someone to retain anger, ever. I go to bed in a good mood, I get up in a good mood, I have zero stress in my life, and I see that as a good thing.

I have a kind of girlfriend. We don't even really consider ourselves a "thing." We've known each other for a long time. I even dated her younger sister. We enjoy getting together when we do with zero commitment. We both roll with that. But there can be little tidbits here and there that can cause a little irritation, but we get past it. I imagine that if she ever was a move in, full time, full commitment relationship person, I'd probably get sick of her being around and we'd have a fight over, "I need my space."

IDK... I think most people want to be with someone. My son once even told me that he was AFRAID to "be alone." That doesn't even compute in my head. I prefer to be alone. When he didn't have a girlfriend, he'd hunt one down with almost rabid zeal. Personally, I thought it was pathetic. But, most guys want/need to have a girlfriend/wife, girls want the boyfriend/husband. I think it's a security thing, someone to have your back, someone to always be there, to share your life with, blah, blah, blah, but with that there comes the fights. Most married people I've ever known in my life bitch more about their spouse than anything else, and when I hear a married friend say something like, "well I better ask the wife if I can do that," or something to that effect, they can't do anything without "asking the wife," I think to myself... Jesus Christ, what is she, your MOTHER?" You don't even have the leeway or freedom as a grown man to make up your own mind?

I guess you can tell by this post that yes, I'm a died in the wool loner, a bachelor, and I do like it this way. Maybe it would be nice to have a little tighter relationship with a woman than what I have with Heather, but, that would never include her MOVING IN. I've lived alone for 32 years now. No one is invading my space at this point. This is normal for me. I couldn't handle it.

[icansayit]

Course I wouldn't know but, I can imagine that if I spent virtually all my time around someone, the same person, then I don't see how it's even possible that there would never be a fight. I don't see how fighting with that person would ever be a good thing either. I don't think it's good for someone to retain anger, ever. I go to bed in a good mood, I get up in a good mood, I have zero stress in my life, and I see that as a good thing.

I have a kind of girlfriend. We don't even really consider ourselves a "thing." We've known each other for a long time. I even dated her younger sister. We enjoy getting together when we do with zero commitment. We both roll with that. But there can be little tidbits here and there that can cause a little irritation, but we get past it. I imagine that if she ever was a move in, full time, full commitment relationship person, I'd probably get sick of her being around and we'd have a fight over, "I need my space."

IDK... I think most people want to be with someone. My son once even told me that he was AFRAID to "be alone." That doesn't even compute in my head. I prefer to be alone. When he didn't have a girlfriend, he'd hunt one down with almost rabid zeal. Personally, I thought it was pathetic. But, most guys want/need to have a girlfriend/wife, girls want the boyfriend/husband. I think it's a security thing, someone to have your back, someone to always be there, to share your life with, blah, blah, blah, but with that there comes the fights. Most married people I've ever known in my life bitch more about their spouse than anything else, and when I hear a married friend say something like, "well I better ask the wife if I can do that," or something to that effect, they can't do anything without "asking the wife," I think to myself... Jesus Christ, what is she, your MOTHER?" You don't even have the leeway or freedom as a grown man to make up your own mind?

I guess you can tell by this post that yes, I'm a died in the wool loner, a bachelor, and I do like it this way. Maybe it would be nice to have a little tighter relationship with a woman than what I have with Heather, but, that would never include her MOVING IN. I've lived alone for 32 years now. No one is invading my space at this point. This is normal for me. I couldn't handle it.

TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????

[darin]

TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????

You're really struggling with the basic concept of this thread. You're virtue signaling more than anything

[High_Plains_Drifter]

TAKE NOTE. If you read any of my post about this subject. I NEVER SAID anything about Not Having an Argument, or Disagreement during our 50 years. But, we did make a private OATH to each other...NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.
Any couple, married, or living together...and I do mean ANY. Will be lying to you if they say.."WE ALWAYS GET ALONG, and NEVER ARGUE".
That's simple NOT, and NEVER WILL BE, Human Nature.
examples...tooth paste, putting the seat up, or down, toilet paper on the wrong way, spending too much money, charging stuff on credit when you have the cash....simple things like that.
And, we also learned...Respect each other by DEALING WITH THE PROBLEMS.....Right away. Don't store them up into a long list....then....One Nite....let loose with all of the complaints...MONEY, SECRETS, and LYING....ARE the THREE biggest causes of marriages breaking up.

STAY SINGLE....or, if you get married. THE PARTNERSHIP SHOULD BE AS AGREED WHEN TAKING THE VOWELS.

Just my opinion of course. Who am I to tell anyone what to do????

I was responding in general, pard. I wasn't replying to just you. Sorry if you took it that way but I wasn't.

I was just talking about my own personal feelings on the subject.

@icansayit