Going to address this right now and hopefully one last time. Everyone ALWAYS ends up blaming ME in the end - for fights they and others are involved in.
It's almost ALWAYS the same. Someone starts/pokes at another, and a fight ensues. Inevitably, someone will contact me about it. I always and politely butt into threads and ask for peace and/or to just simply keep it in the cage. Think those flimsy rules would be accepted. Folks call me a nazi. Then I'm a failed nazi I guess when folks don't get their way.
16 years of this and I've seen NOTHING but loss of members and friends as a result of fighting. Maybe a handful of times I've seen people successfully use the ignore function. And even then, 90% of those end up lifting that self imposed ban on another. So eventually it fades slowly back to the bad feelings again. And I end up politely saying something in a thread. But NO ONE - and I mean NO ONE EVER HELPS ME. Folks want to complain and bitch and moan at one another, and then ultimately at me - because I don't jump on board with one side and get involved. But if I were to do that, you lose friends and members. So I decided a while back to allow the adults here to dictate rules in a manner, and handle their own punishments in a manner. The most possible freedom of speech while still trying to maintain peace and order around here.
And then things eventually go full circle again, and fighting ensues. Rather than lose friends or members, and noting it a futile effort to ask for peace - I simply and politely moved some posts down here. This does NOTHING to anyone. Your arguments continue and nothing whatsoever has been stopped or impeded. Difference is - instead of one thread being ruined - we now have 2 threads, one where everyone can enjoy the banter and debate, and another where harsh feelings can be spoken. That's OK with me and gives you guys a choice to be outspoken, or place someone on ignore.
Good enough? Not even close.
Once again, inevitably, folks expect my involvement. And while I WANT to please everyone, that avenue leads to what? say it with me - lost friends and lost members.
I ASSume folks expect me to take some form of action against the person they are fighting with. And 99.99% of the time it's over fighting where multiple parties are involved. That's OK, I don't complain, I usually and politely explain their options of what I gave them powers to do, in ignoring or continuing in the cage. And THAT is where I somehow become responsible for everything. The fight and the resolution. No different than 2 folks kicking one another's asses in the streets, and then expect me to jump in to the fray. I don't want to!! Not because I like one over the other or anything like that, but because I've learned over 16 years how to better handle things as an owner of a forum. Yeah, I know, those angry don't think so, as they have different expectations. But if folks ONLY KNEW how many times others wanted action against THEM that has never taken place. It's not like I report to the other that "hey, so and so wants me to ban you...". But if I took action against folks based on the whims of others, it would likely be me and Abbey left as the only remaining members.
Someone wanna see what it's like? I'll admin anyone here (with limited rights of course) and allow them to be heard for their decisions input, and others can complain to them about what transpires and for assistance. See if you like being a member here when you have days where you make 20-30 posts and 50-60 replies to PM's, and perhaps 4 or 5 of them being friendly.
So hate me if you will. Hell, both sides can hate me. I've worked hard on friendships here over the years as well, and have a LOT of respect for quite a few members here. But if not mutual, so be it. Being a friend doesn't mean I ban either side or take any action on either side based on that friendship. And all of this kind of crap makes me not only NOT want to post at times, but makes me think about getting rid of the place as the value lessens to me, regardless of any $.
Ok, I know I'm blabbing once again. But I'm the bad guy again and I was not even involved.
