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  1. #1
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    Talking Membership Has Its Privileges(satire)

    There's a lot of clickable links in this and you'll have to go over to their site to click them....
    (WARNING....some may not like this site)


    Dear ALBERT GORE JR. :

    Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2007 recipient of the Nobel Peace Price, in recognition of your tireless efforts to RAISE GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE AWARENESS .

    I am also pleased to tell you that as a winner, you have been pre-approved for membership in the Nobel Peace Player's Club, offering exclusive money-saving benefits available only to laureates like you. Please take a few minutes to look over the enclosed enrollment materials. At only $299.95 per year, I'm sure you'll agree that membership is a bargain at twice the price! Here are just some of the benefits you'll receive:

    A handsome 14-karat gold membership crest badge to display proudly on the grille of your limousine or Gulfstream
    A framed, hand-calligraphed certificate (add $19.95 for gold leaf)
    Special Geico group car insurance rates for you and your family
    Listing in "Who's Who of Global Salvation" ($49.95 per copy)
    Great coupons for Olive Garden, P.F. Chang, Six Flags Theme Parks, and more!
    Plus, you'll receive the exclusive Nobel Peace Player's Club GoldCard entitling you to discount air travel and 5-star hotel accomodations from Kyoto to Darfur. But don't take our word for it! Listen to these testimonials from some of our current members:

    "My career as an international peace activist means lots of air travel -- and dealing with pushy Zionists and rude natives. With my Nobel Peace Player's Club GoldCard, I finally get the respect I deserve - and it makes getting through Gaza airport security a snap!"
    -- Jimmy Carter, 2002 Lareate

    "Whether we're patrolling the Congo, Sudan, or Bosnia, one thing's for sure -- chicks can't resist a Nobel Peace Prize Player!"
    -- United Nations Peacekeeping Forces, 1988 Winners

    "My Players Club GoldCard lets me treat my friends and family to great perks."
    -- Kofi Annan, 2001 Laureate

    "I'm a take-action kind of guy. Whenever I fly to Tehran or Pyongyang, the first thing I pack is my Players GoldCard."
    -- Mohamed ElBaradei (2005)

    "I have to write a lot of honorary doctorate acceptance speeches, and writer's block can be a problem. With the Player's GoldCard I got great discounts at TermPapersLab.com!"
    -- Rigoberta Menchu (1992)

    "The Player's Club GoldCard is recognized everywhere -- even in hell! I redeemed my Players GoldPoints at Club Satan for an exciting eternity of getting pounded up the ass. Thanks, NobelCo!"
    -- Yasser Arafat (1994)

    "Don't miss the boat like I did, comrade! I forgot to enroll, and now I'm spending eternity pounding Yasser Arafat up the ass."
    -- Le Duc Tho (1973)

    So what are you waiting for, ALBERT GORE JR. ? Enroll today and start enjoing the privileges of membership. Enroll today, and we'll throw in a deluxe carbon credit package worth $1000!

    Sincerely,

    Ůmläut Ťïldëqvist, Chairman
    The Nobel Peace Player's Club Selection Committee
    http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk...ship-has-.html
    "A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself."
    Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC)

  2. #2
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    When I die I'm sure to go to heaven, cause I spent my time in hell.

    You get more with a kind word and a two by four, than you do with just a kind word.

  3. #3
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    I have never understood people who hate peace.

    Anyone who seeks to make the world more peaceful is refiled by you?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by truthmatters View Post
    I have never understood people who hate peace.

    Anyone who seeks to make the world more peaceful is refiled by you?
    He didn't get a Peace Prize for promoting Peace you moron!!! This is a piece of "SATIRE" you do comprehend that dont you (ohh wait this is truthdoesnt matter i almost forgot).

    The point of this is that Al Gore has done more to polute the environment by FLYING in his private jet and traveling with his entourage of 10 SUV's everywhere thats it s kind of hypocriticle to give him an Nobel for bring attention to climate change taht hasn't even been proven yet. He continues to use more energy than the people he vilifies for driving to work.

    His one flight puts out enough CO2 to cover about 10,000 cars for a year!! He uses more energy in his home than any 10 other families combined.

    You dont see the hypocracy in this????

    You dont see why the satire is put forth in this paper????

    Are you just upset someone made fun of Al Bore?????

    Do you comprehend that he is another "do as I say not as I do" elitest???

    I honestly dont understand your narrow view on life in general.
    Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." -Dr. Randy Pausch


    Death is lighter than a feather, Duty is heavier than a mountain

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by truthmatters View Post
    I have never understood people who hate peace.

    Anyone who seeks to make the world more peaceful is refiled by you?
    God, you're nauseating, and beyond boring...

    Shut up.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by truthmatters View Post
    I have never understood people who hate peace.

    Anyone who seeks to make the world more peaceful is refiled by you?
    I've done as much to promote peace as Gore has.
    "I am allergic to piety, it makes me break out in rash judgements." - Penn Jillette
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "The man who invented the telescope found out more about heaven than the closed eyes of prayer ever discovered." - Robert G. Ingersoll

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