Redneck Valentine's Day

[Gunny]

I figured it was thinking it must be something like that. Gunny is too smart to get something the love of his life didn't really want. Plus one for Gunny!

A most important note is HER bb gun is bigger than the boys' bb guns.

[Abbey Marie]

World cruise ey? Well, that sounds just about right.

Actually, I suggested my hubby come home with a cupcake. That would make me happy.

[jimnyc]

I can't believe no one commented on this. You guys are def. slipping!

Oh, you dirty little girl! I was picturing that dumb little bastard in the movie and never thought of that when I typed it. But now I know how you think sometimes, and I like it.

[Abbey Marie]

Oh, you dirty little girl! I was picturing that dumb little bastard in the movie and never thought of that when I typed it. But now I know how you think sometimes, and I like it.

Who, me?

[jimnyc]

Reminded me:

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."

Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."

The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.

Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher teacher, I know, it's an orange rubber ball." The teacher looked at Johnny and said, "No Johnny, it's an orange, but I like the way that you think."

Johnny was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one. Johnny grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, "I have something behind my back. It's pink in color and it's loooong. It's soft, but it's haaaard."

The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnny, "Now Johnny, I'm going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior." Johnny stopped her and said, "But, teacher, all I have is my pink eraser - but I like the way you think!"

[jimnyc]

I know, unrelated and off topic, but will make your loved one laugh on V-Day anyway!

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of Lifesaver candies and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored Lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy and daddy probably call each other all the time."

Instantly, Little Johnnie coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Spit 'em out! Spit 'em out! They're assholes!!"

[Gunny]

World cruise ey? Well, that sounds just about right.

Actually, I suggested my hubby come home with a cupcake. That would make me happy.

I have to LMAO @ that one. My estranged one wanted to go on a cruise. Right after I came back from a 6 month deployment aboard ship. How brilliant is THAT?

[Abbey Marie]

I have to LMAO @ that one. My estranged one wanted to go on a cruise. Right after I came back from a 6 month deployment aboard ship. How brilliant is THAT?

Lol, a real giver that one!

[Gunny]

Lol, a real giver that one!

Yeah, she's a real "thinker". I come home from bobing up and down in the ocean like a cork for 6 months and she wants to cast me back out.

You'd have to be there. My accent gets REAL thick when I start getting sarcastic and/or cussing. Needless to say, it REALLY came out for THAT particular occasion.

[Abbey Marie]

Yeah, she's a real "thinker". I come home from bobing up and down in the ocean like a cork for 6 months and she wants to cast me back out.

You'd have to be there. My accent gets REAL thick when I start getting sarcastic and/or cussing. Needless to say, it REALLY came out for THAT particular occasion.

I guess she didn't realize that her job was to make you happy you were back on land.

[Jess]

I know, unrelated and off topic, but will make your loved one laugh on V-Day anyway!

Another funny food joke ...

A young man was eating venison for the first time. He was told it was something his mother called his father (dear/deer for those who don't want to think).

Little Johnny yells out "Don't eat it - it's jackass!"


Oddly enough, my father tells that joke all the time.